stuck in the fishbowl

evergreen trees
the view from this
window pane
slightly open

i’m going for a walk –
sup air through
my nostrils…

after seeing
a performance poet
the young lady recited:

“mother doesn’t understand
my depression,

because
i don’t understand it either!”

i didn’t ask mother
why her bedroom curtains
were drawn at 4
in the afternoon –

the sun tearing
through as
we got home from school.

lay on the double bed
unblemished
kinked hair clasped
in wary hands –

her immaculate room
seeped a gloom
rolling on for days
& nights.

(think she’d split
with her long term “knight”).

years down the way
mother asks me –
where you been
for the last few days?

i don’t want to tell
i’ve been stuck in the fishbowl.

bedroom curtains
drawn till 4
in the afternoon

(i know she understands)

though i tell her sometimes

(it feels – but i’m not alone).

evergreen trees
the view from this pane
double glazed window
slightly open

i’m going for a walk –
sup air through
my nostrils…